Plaza Suite

Another Mom's Night Out, we met up at New London Theatre to see David in his most recent stage appearance as Jesse in Plaza Suite.

Anita, Mo, Grace, Kit, Stacey, and Ashley

Another fabulous show! David had us all rollin' with is Hollywood swagger and 70s white pants.

David and Becca as Jesse and Muriel

Just Friends

This is me with some of my “just friends”. Not my “mommy friends”. Not my “homeschool friends”. Not my “girlfriends”. Just…my friends.

I haven’t had “just friends” since I’ve had kids. Somehow, once I stopped working “in the real world” and started spending all of my time with little critters that need constant attention, I stopped having friends that were not “attached” to one aspect of my life or another.

First it was other moms who I befriended because…well we had something pretty significant in common. We mostly felt completely isolated from the real world because we had an infant and suddenly lost our “work” friends and “not parents” friends seemingly overnight. And there was always nursing and diapers and poop to discuss, so conversation flowed pretty easily. But often I found myself being “friends” with people who, under other circumstances, I would never have thought to befriend. It was a different kind of “friend” for me.

Then came homeschooling. Here, at least, were people I had more in common with. All of them chose to stay home for the long haul and educate their children themselves rather than send them to school. And, the homeschool group I joined up with was a lovely, eclectic, very open group, both in world view and in educational style. But again, despite this commonality, they were not necessarily people I would have thought to befriend otherwise.

Then came my on-line TJEd friends. And, boy, talk about small band of commonality. Just about the ONLY thing we had in common was our taste for TJEd, we mostly came from very, very different backgrounds and had vastly different world views, but we became friendly anyway.

Most recently, I've added a gaggle of D-Mom friends. Women with whom I have in common one overwhelming thing; we all have one or more children with Type 1 Diabetes. And, we all blog, which is how we found one another.

I read an article recently extolling the virtues of living in a small community where everyone knows everyone else, and you are pretty much forced to learn how to befriend, or at least get along with, people you don’t necessarily like or have anything in common with except that you live in the same small town. The same might be said for schools in which children of the same age and from the same area are all placed together and expected to befriend one another, or at least get along.

I don’t know if I would be able to make a new friend outside of my “categories” any more, and that’s kind of a strange realization. But, more poignant for me is the realization that my current friends are not longer “category” friends. They’re all Just Friends. And that’s how I like them best.

P.S. For those who've never met me in person, I'm the tall old lady...with my cute, young, short friends ;)

Non-Stressors

“You are one of the few non-stressor people in my life.”

I said this to Mimi as we were walking the other day on our one-hour cardio tour through our local park. We’ve been trying to hook up for walks as frequently as our mutual schedules will allow (and, that’s not very frequently). She had just explained that she had, very politely, said “no” to her grown daughter’s request to come along on our walk (at the last minute). Said daughter has a young daughter who, it was apparently explained, Mimi could easily push in the stroller as we all walked together. As though it was just a casual add-on to the infrequent-but-cherished walks Mimi and I have been trying to carve out for ourselves between taking care of everyone else in our respective lives.

My response? “Absolutely NOT! She’s missing the point! This is YOUR time for YOU. Not to be shared by anyone who might present the slightest challenge to your peace of mind and spiritual tranquility. This is Girlfriend Time for you and I. Our time to take care of ourselves, with no consideration for anyone else. No stress, no baggage, just girlfriends.”

Then it slipped out…one of those “Freudian” slips…as part of my defense of this time as ours alone. Trying to explain why I would not let any of my boys come along, whether they could keep up with our pace or not. Trying to explain why “exercise” was not actually the most important part of our selfishly hoarded, minimally available hours of walking together. Why I wouldn’t want to be walking that particular paved trail at that particular time of day with anyone else I know who might possibly be available at that particular hour.

“You are one of the few non-stressor people in my life.”

No baggage. No “issues”. No “have to’s”. No need to be anything other than just some woman walking in the park with another woman. No expectations. No pressure. No need to impress. No need to carefully weigh words. No restrictions on topics. No need to talk at all. No stress. Period. Ahhhhh. Balm for the spirit, wrapped up in exercise for the body. What more could a girlfriend need? And what a gift on those occasions when we are able to give same to one another.

Mimi giggled, her face lit up in an illuminating smile that only her charming face could fully embrace, and she gave me a giggly hug. No words necessary.

I’m not one of those people who have a large portfolio of friends, although at this point in my life I have more “important” friends in my life than I think I’ve ever had before. Women who know and understand me to an extent that has not been usual in my previous life. Women I meet up with regularly, usually weekly, and who I genuinely miss when we miss the chance to get together. Women who feed my mind, as well as my soul, and who still seem to accept me even when I’m less than acceptable in my own eyes. Friends. Real friends. Who are there when you need them, and not there meddling when you don’t. People who are non-stressors. Ahhhh. I love them with all of my heart.

You know who you are, my dears. And I adore you, each and every one.