Friday, September 3, 2010

Numbers and Pumps

T-Bear had is quarterly checkup with Dr. A today, and all seems to be well.

These appointments always make me nervous and edgy, like my performance for the past three months is going to be judged by that one little number. You know the one. The A1c. The one that tells The Boss of your child's Diabetes Team whether or not you've been a good Diabetes Mom for the last three months. Have you been doing your part? Have you been doing your best? What grade are you going to get for all of the time, effort, worry and anxiety you've put into keeping your child alive and well for the last three months? Well, at least that's what it sounds like inside of my head. The voices inside your head may vary in their whisperings.

So, by some miracle that I can neither fathom nor find logic in, T-Bear's A1c today was a solid 7.0. That, my friends, is a beautiful number for a kid T-Bear's age. Yeah, it could be a little lower, and I'm hoping it will be in December when we go back. But, considering all of the crazy highs we had while pumping, plus all the crazy (and often uncorrected) highs we had while traveling on our Tour of America, I'm pretty much stunned more damage was not done. Frankly, I'm bowled over. Incredibly grateful, but also bowled over. I didn't completely screw up the last three months! Yeeehaaa, cowgirl!

Our appointment today was also confirming in another way, which I deeply appreciated. I half expected to have to explain in detail why we are no longer pumping.

Yes, we are now, officially, pumpless. Not that we don't have the pump, because we do, because we can't return it (plus all the Pods that were automatically shipped to us while we were gone). But T-Bear had decided the he will IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS NOT be pumping anytime in the near future. Or his life time, whichever comes first. 'Cause he was THAT frustrated with the entire process for the whole two months we gave it a shot. And that sucker was really expensive for our insurance company (who I love, by the way, for unquestioningly paying for T-Bear's care with the massive premiums we and Hubby's employer pay each month). So I was half expecting I'd have to explain our decision to Dr. A.

At any rate, being accustomed to annual visits to doctors and pediatricians who only glance casually at your file as they wander into the exam room, I was not really expecting Dr. A to be fully briefed on the trials we had endured over the past four months, and the reasons why we chucked the pump. But, being the extraordinarily fabulous person that he is, he was absolutely, completely and in all ways fully aware of the circumstances, and fully supportive of our choice not to pump. Go figure. He even went so far as to say, "Pumping does not work for everyone." (gasp!) Awesome! 'Cause, you know, I'd just about figured that out on my own, and now Dr. A is sitting there telling me the same thing. Go, Dr. A!

Pumping just did not work out for T-Bear. That's it. End of story. I know it works great for lots and lots of folks, and it's a blessing for them. But, it just did not work for us.

Maybe we'll try again in a few years. Maybe not. But, for right now we've got way better control over his BG (and his health) on injections than we did on the pump. And, I don't have to get up two or three times in the middle of the night every night to check his BG, because I know he's going to be stable overnight. MDI's are working for us, and we're sticking with 'em for as long as T-Bear and Dr. A say it's working.

And, I may as well take this opportunity to say that Dr. A and our Diabetes Team are the most spectacular, fabulous, wonderful, extraordinary human beings on the entire planet, because without each one of you, our precious T-Bear would be lost to us. Every single on of you, from Dr. A, to the CDE's who call me with corrections, to the intake nurses (especially E who took care of us today!), to the gals who make our appointments and the ladies in the front all ROCK! Unquestioningly, spectacularly, ROCK!

"That's all I've got to say about that..."


  1. Yea!! Happy for some good news.

  2. YAY! Glad he (and you!) got a good result!

  3. Oh that's *excellent* news! I know it was a wild ride for awhile there.

  4. A happy bear is a healthy bear ... glad to hear the outcome of your trial, and to know things are stable. Sounds like you got an A+ too, good on you.

  5. I love this post! If MDI works for you, THEN THAT'S WHAT MATTERS! My daughter had HORRIBLE lows on MDI....but, in hindsight, I think it had to do with her extreme insulin sensitivity. She started pumping when she was 3 and her ISF was 350.

    That being said, our pump transition was HORRIBLE. I'm not kidding when I tell you that I almost threw the dang thing out the window. It took us about 8 weeks before I felt like I could give it a chance.

    If your boy is happy, healthy, and adjusted...that's all that matters. Pump or no pump.

    I have to admit that it took me far to long to realize that there isn't a one size fits all regiment out there. When we started pumping, I wanted to prove to everyone that I hadn't made a wrong choice. Part of me hyped it up for that very reason...

    And I do love, after almost 4 years....but it's NOT the only way.

    Good luck and God bless

  6. Where did my post go?? OK let's start again.

    I am so glad you have such a wonderful support team! I am so proud of T bear and his decision, doing what he feels is the right thing for him at this point and time.

    Tyler is struggling with the idea of the pump and really is not thrilled about doing it... I told him he needs to trust himself, tho he really wants the cgm that our ins. will not let us have. Thanks for the post.

    You are so blessed, savour the moment!

  7. @Wendy, thanks for your support and for sharing your experience. I really feel like T-Bear and I both gave it our all for two full months, but it just was not working for us. Aside from his BG being so much better, we're both happier, calmer, and less stressed. That counts for a lot.

    @Alix, I felt it was important to put our experiences out there for anyone else who might be struggling with pumping. It's so exciting when you get the pump, and you have such high hopes, it's really difficult to finally have to say, "It's just not working."

    As always, thanks to everyone who comments and supports our family in so many ways. - Mo

  8. Congrats! That A1C is solid and lovely and good for you for doing what you know is right for you guys. I'm so very pleased to hear that your Dr understood and supported your decision. Cases like these give me faith in the medical industry.