Numbers and Pumps

T-Bear had is quarterly checkup with Dr. A today, and all seems to be well.


These appointments always make me nervous and edgy, like my performance for the past three months is going to be judged by that one little number. You know the one. The A1c. The one that tells The Boss of your child's Diabetes Team whether or not you've been a good Diabetes Mom for the last three months. Have you been doing your part? Have you been doing your best? What grade are you going to get for all of the time, effort, worry and anxiety you've put into keeping your child alive and well for the last three months? Well, at least that's what it sounds like inside of my head. The voices inside your head may vary in their whisperings.


So, by some miracle that I can neither fathom nor find logic in, T-Bear's A1c today was a solid 7.0. That, my friends, is a beautiful number for a kid T-Bear's age. Yeah, it could be a little lower, and I'm hoping it will be in December when we go back. But, considering all of the crazy highs we had while pumping, plus all the crazy (and often uncorrected) highs we had while traveling on our Tour of America, I'm pretty much stunned more damage was not done. Frankly, I'm bowled over. Incredibly grateful, but also bowled over. I didn't completely screw up the last three months! Yeeehaaa, cowgirl!


Our appointment today was also confirming in another way, which I deeply appreciated. I half expected to have to explain in detail why we are no longer pumping.


Yes, we are now, officially, pumpless. Not that we don't have the pump, because we do, because we can't return it (plus all the Pods that were automatically shipped to us while we were gone). But T-Bear had decided the he will IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS NOT be pumping anytime in the near future. Or his life time, whichever comes first. 'Cause he was THAT frustrated with the entire process for the whole two months we gave it a shot. And that sucker was really expensive for our insurance company (who I love, by the way, for unquestioningly paying for T-Bear's care with the massive premiums we and Hubby's employer pay each month). So I was half expecting I'd have to explain our decision to Dr. A.


At any rate, being accustomed to annual visits to doctors and pediatricians who only glance casually at your file as they wander into the exam room, I was not really expecting Dr. A to be fully briefed on the trials we had endured over the past four months, and the reasons why we chucked the pump. But, being the extraordinarily fabulous person that he is, he was absolutely, completely and in all ways fully aware of the circumstances, and fully supportive of our choice not to pump. Go figure. He even went so far as to say, "Pumping does not work for everyone." (gasp!) Awesome! 'Cause, you know, I'd just about figured that out on my own, and now Dr. A is sitting there telling me the same thing. Go, Dr. A!


Pumping just did not work out for T-Bear. That's it. End of story. I know it works great for lots and lots of folks, and it's a blessing for them. But, it just did not work for us.


Maybe we'll try again in a few years. Maybe not. But, for right now we've got way better control over his BG (and his health) on injections than we did on the pump. And, I don't have to get up two or three times in the middle of the night every night to check his BG, because I know he's going to be stable overnight. MDI's are working for us, and we're sticking with 'em for as long as T-Bear and Dr. A say it's working.


And, I may as well take this opportunity to say that Dr. A and our Diabetes Team are the most spectacular, fabulous, wonderful, extraordinary human beings on the entire planet, because without each one of you, our precious T-Bear would be lost to us. Every single on of you, from Dr. A, to the CDE's who call me with corrections, to the intake nurses (especially E who took care of us today!), to the gals who make our appointments and the ladies in the front office...you all ROCK! Unquestioningly, spectacularly, ROCK!


"That's all I've got to say about that..."